Posts by Coffee House Girl

58

At the end of my rope :(

by tec in

jw
friends

but i guess this is my first big rant.. this last year has been the hardest year of my life.

my son tried to kill himself ( he did something pretty bad, got caught, and i guess that's the only way he thought to deal) i am also very close to actually hating my husband, and i do not hate people.

and every decision that i make lately seems to be the wrong one.

Coffee House Girl

Tammy....(sigh)girl, hang in there...everyone has said what I already wanted to, getting your novel published is a very important accomplishment and you should be very proud regardless of the $$$ results, I hope you can hang on to that pride and write again when it is good for you...

You are the expert in your own life, I have also felt at times that every decision I made was wrong and turned to crap...but you know what is best for you, you said as much in your rant....you may need to break away, you may lose a house (been there, done that...it's just things-things cannot make you happy), you may lose a husband (been there, done that...much better off without him), but whatever you decide- hang on to your support-hold on to your friends

keep posting, were here for you!

CHG

39

The spanking room

by dgp in

i just got "the spanking room: a child's eye view of the jehovah's witnesses", by william coburn.

the author says that their old kingdom hall didn't have a spanking room, so the spanking took place in the ladies' room.

there was always a line, either for ladies wanting to make use of the toilet the way it was intended to be used, or for ladies waiting their turn to spank their children.

Coffee House Girl

I remember the back library was used for my spankings- when I grew up my cong. converted a part of the ladies room to a mothers room where mothers could listen to the talks and take their kids back when they cried,

but mostly I saw that being used for young mothers to take sleeping kids back, rock in the rocking chairs, and gossip about other people with the sound turned off....

My mother would proudly tell new moms the story about how she disciplined me when I was a baby, she said I would cry during the meetings...she would stand up to carry me back & I would immediately stop... she knew she couldn't let me win that mind game....so the next time I did it, she took me back and wailed on me....that shut me up

I don't remember that event at all but I hate it when she starts to tell it...

CHG

25

Further developments in my JC

by teel in

short review: the elders "invited" me to a friendly chat with 3 elders.

i told them since it's about my official status with jw's i request an official invitation in writing.

they denied it, and went ahead and kept the jc without me, notifying me that i'm df'd and if i want to appeal, send it in writing (btw: .

Coffee House Girl

Wow, I am really impressed with your style! I am really interested to see how it plays out (even though we know the result is DFing but I wanna read how you handle it all)

I liked the journalist suggestion....

49

Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish in

just wanted to introduce myself.... .

i am a secret fader but since reading this forum i feel i am alot more confident about telling my family/friends that i don t go to the meetings and inactive.. my hubby is also a fader with me...we kind of drifted after my first baby was born.

she is now 11.. it all started with my mom who started studying with my cousin when i was about 15. while she was studying i also started studying (i was about 16).

Coffee House Girl

Welcome, thanks for sharing your intro- your expressed happiness at being "out" with your husband and kids does confirm in all us "fader's" minds that we are doing the right thing

I wish I could move away as you have, would make things so much easier...

Thanks for sharing,

CHG

20

I need to vent.

by EmptyInside in

jw
friends

i needed to post here to vent.

because, the person i really want to give a piece of my mind to is an elder and my, sometimes, self-righteous brother.

twice in my presence, he brought up cases of sisters marrying unbelievers and how they should be "marked" because of marrying outside the "truth".

Coffee House Girl

lol I quit- well said

I can speak from experience in marrying a JW douche bag which damaged me psychologically, and now with a completely sane non-JW who is trying to heal me and take care of me....

Months back when I was talking with Coffee Shop Guy about my family JW history, he remarked on how many women in my family married non-JW men (my mom, 3 aunts, cousins) and I know you guys are right about the men-women ratio, many depressed women are in the Borg and they are beautiful women who cannot find a decent mate....they age & then when they hit the mid-twenties all the single brothers only want 18-19year olds (who are "spiritual" of course) and they feel like rejected spinsters in the prime of life...

so sad

CHG

12

Wish Coffee House Guy safe travels to South Africa!

by Coffee House Girl in

my boyfriend left today for a 17 day trip to johannesburg south africa as part of a charity group to help provide blankets and clothes to people in outlining areas, and give support for aids victims there..... this is the first time we have been apart since september, i miss him already but he is doing so much good and he has such a loving heart.

i love you baby, come back to me safe .

chg.

Coffee House Girl

Thank you all for your sentiments, I will pass them on.... I am so very proud of him, this is a very good thing he is doing, we agreed that next time, I get to go with him...we do not like being apart so long

Yes Think About It- you have us right, he is the love of my life, 22 years older than me...and I would have never had the privelege of being a friend of his being trapped in the borg of "conditional friendships".

LouBelle- awww you are a sweetheart, I will ask CSG if the Durbs are in his plan- he will have a free day to go shopping in the markets & explore!

CHG

16

Are Dubs just getting lazy?

by pr0ner in

twice this month i've seen dubs out.

both times they just totally avoided me.

yesterday i went to subway and they were sitting on down outside of subway with their rags.

Coffee House Girl

Ive only been out for 11months, but I HATED parking lot witnessing- I felt like an a**hole doing it bugging people while they were trying to pump gas or get to their cars- so yes I didn't make eye contact, just said "here's something for you to read" and got back to the car.

I wouldn't just go up to anybody, I had to feel somewhat comfortable- so yea even though your clean cut and drive a nice car, I may still not have been comfortable with you (I targeted mostly older women, they seemed the most likely just to take my rag and go on)

So glad to be out of that game, I will never do it again!!!!

CHG

30

I have a date!

by Soldier77 in

...and she isn't a witness!!

woohooo!.

the story:.

Coffee House Girl

I'm giddy for you too :) (I remember the "butterflies" feeling- ah...)

be cool...let us know how it goes!

CHG

60

Call from elder

by XPeterX in

i received a call a few hours ago from an elder.of course he didn't call me to ask how i was or if i needed help.instead he told me that "the youth and some older brothers" of my congregation will gather (at another elder's house,you see 2 elders to "get a hold of the situation") to talk about the "internet,facebook etc dangers".i told him that i will go.hmmm...it's going to be an interesting conversation..

Coffee House Girl

I agree with most posters- it don't smell right to me either- I hope you can find the courage to maybe back out on this meeting......

please keep us posted,

CHG

12

Wish Coffee House Guy safe travels to South Africa!

by Coffee House Girl in

my boyfriend left today for a 17 day trip to johannesburg south africa as part of a charity group to help provide blankets and clothes to people in outlining areas, and give support for aids victims there..... this is the first time we have been apart since september, i miss him already but he is doing so much good and he has such a loving heart.

i love you baby, come back to me safe .

chg.

Coffee House Girl

My boyfriend left today for a 17 day trip to Johannesburg South Africa as part of a charity group to help provide blankets and clothes to people in outlining areas, and give support for AIDS victims there....

This is the first time we have been apart since September, I miss him already but he is doing so much good and he has such a loving heart

I love you baby, come back to me safe

CHG